Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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