Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Tornado booty call.. dedication
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
