i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
