the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
