Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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