Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
