I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
