Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
