So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize