Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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