We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
