it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
