Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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