you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
