Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
