one two three fourrrrnication!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
