I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
