Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
