I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
