so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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