You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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