I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
