fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
