Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I will be naked everywhere
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
