Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
