i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
