if you like me you must not know who I am
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
