the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Two words: nipple clamps
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