we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
then he tried to convert me to islam
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize