4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
