we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
