it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
