Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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