soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need a beard to bite.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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