what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
