Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
