like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My bed smells like the plague
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
