i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
