i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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