I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
