My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
