I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
