there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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