Me. At least after what I've been through.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
