Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
