How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
