I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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