So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
