I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
