So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
