You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
