Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
