I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
