it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
