I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
