wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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