I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
