i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
