i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
