well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
