i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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