Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
