Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize